What We Think Our Readers Look Like (Please Don’t Correct Us)

We’ve never formally surveyed our readers.
We don’t need to.

We know exactly who you are. Or at least… the dramatic, overconfident version we made up for morale purposes.

So here’s our official, extremely unscientific profile of The Mocking Post audience:

Reader Archetype #1: The Beautifully Burnt-Out Genius

• Has 47 tabs open, all related to capitalism’s collapse.
• Laughs at our headlines, then mutters “too real” and stares into the middle distance.
• Can quote memes and Kierkegaard, but mostly chooses chaos.

Reader Archetype #2: The Culture Critic With a Burner Account

• Knows what’s trending before it trends.
• Screenshots our posts for group chats but never likes them publicly.
• Secretly wants to pitch a column. Won’t. But wants to.

Reader Archetype #3: The Hot Mess Philosopher

• Believes deeply in ethics but also in revenge.
• Has an unread degree in the humanities and a very loud tote bag.
• Considers satire a form of therapy (and maybe legal documentation).

You, Reader, Are the Reason

You’re smart. You’re tired. You’re fluent in cringe and irony.
And somehow, you found your way to a site that roasts the world just the way you like it:
Hot, fast, and barely disguised as comedy.

We don’t need Google Analytics to know you belong here.

We wrote this for you.

We wrote this as you.

Now go back to pretending you don’t refresh the Behind the Mock at 2am.

With unverified admiration,
— Chaz
The Mocking Post