Zendaya & Tom Holland Deny Their Relationship Is “Just for PR”

The Interview: Relationship Accidentally Releases Season 2 Trailer

CHAZ: You two are adorable. But also — explain yourselves. Are you actually together, or is this just Marvel’s most elaborate side quest?

ZENDAYA: [laughs] Wow. Starting soft, I see.

TOM: If it were a PR relationship, don’t you think I’d be taller?

CHAZ: Okay, real answer: When did you realize this was something the internet needed to believe in harder than their parents’ marriage?

ZENDAYA: Probably the third time someone posted a TikTok about us breathing near each other with the caption “They’re so in love 😭.”

TOM: And then BuzzFeed ran “27 Times Tom Looked at Zendaya Like a Labradoodle in Love.” That’s when it got biblical.

CHAZ: Be honest. Do you ever just pretend to argue in public so Deuxmoi can post blurry photos with vague tension?

TOM: I’ve considered it. But honestly, we’re too British for performative conflict. We just sulk respectfully.

ZENDAYA: I once fake-unfollowed him for 30 minutes to see what would happen. We trended for six hours.

CHAZ: Let’s test it now. Tom, blink twice if you’re being held in an emotionally fulfilling PR contract.

TOM: [blinks once. Waits. Blinks again.]

ZENDAYA: That was just him being British again.

CHAZ: Do you feel pressure to stay together just to keep Gen Z from giving up on love?

ZENDAYA: We don’t feel pressure — we are the pressure. If we break up, 40% of TikTok will start raw-dogging existential dread.

TOM: And 60% will say I fumbled the bag, even if it’s mutual.

CHAZ: What would you say to the rumor that this is all leading up to a Vogue spread, a fragrance launch, and a painfully coordinated Notes App breakup?

ZENDAYA: Honestly? That sounds like a slay.

TOM: [shrugs] I’m already moisturized for it.

CHAZ: Final question: If your love life is a Marvel movie, what’s the post-credits scene?

ZENDAYA: Us, on a couch, eating noodles, ignoring the internet.

TOM: And me whispering, “Do you think they bought it?”

CHAZ: It’s been wonderful spending time with you! As always, we at The Mocking Post thank you for this privilege. We look forward to more fake-unfollows from the two of you to keep the Internet in hysteria.