If DEI Protected Against Weight Bias, Half of America Would Suddenly Love It

WASHINGTON — DEI opponents love to shout that “merit should matter, not identity.” But there’s one identity they never mention, the one straining at the waistline of half the country.

According to the CDC, more than 70% of U.S. adults are overweight or obese (CDC Obesity Data, 2024). In other words, statistically, most Americans would be at risk if companies openly favored the slim, trim, and gym-membership faithful.

And here’s the punchline: if DEI shifted to protect against weight discrimination, the same crowd foaming about “race quotas” would suddenly sprint (well, shuffle) to defend their right to be hired despite their XXL physiques.

“Don’t you dare judge me by my body!” they’d cry, wiping barbecue sauce off their campaign signs. “Judge me by the content of my carbs.”

Race vs. Waist Hypocrisy

• Against Racial DEI:
  Critics frame it as unfair “handouts,” saying race should never factor into hiring.
• If It Were Weight:
  With two-thirds of Americans in the “plus” category, suddenly the fairness argument would flip: “We deserve protection from skinny bias!”

The math is brutal: America runs on fast food, not fairness. If companies openly said, “We only hire slim, healthy people,” half the workforce would be out of luck and DEI would go from “woke scam” to “sacred constitutional right” overnight.

Mockery Delivered

Picture it: the same men who chant “DEI is reverse racism” now storming HR departments demanding equity for “husky hires.” The same women railing against “identity politics” suddenly forming Weight Watchers PAC to demand inclusive hiring.

It’s not about principle. It never was. It’s about whose reflection is in the mirror and right now, that mirror has stretch marks.

As one satirical scholar put it: “If you want to see America’s true diversity problem, look at the food court. We’re less black vs. white, more curly fries vs. keto.”