Gavin Newsom Awarded Nobel Peace Prize, Trump Calls It “Rigged Like a Leaf Blower”
Jules Cringeley
Mockitor of Trying Too Hard
Lifestyle & Trends Contributor
Gavin Newsom wins the Nobel Peace Prize for political calm and climate leadership, while Trump insists he was “robbed by Norway” and demands a recount.
OSLO — California Governor Gavin Newsom has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for “maintaining composure in a nation permanently set to panic mode,” according to the Norwegian Nobel Committee.
The committee praised Newsom’s “ability to smile politely through wildfires, political recall attempts, and Fox News coverage,” calling it “a rare example of diplomacy under domestic combustion.”
The announcement immediately set off alarms, not from celebration, but from Mar-a-Lago. Former President Donald Trump called the decision “the greatest scam since windmills,” alleging without evidence that “Norway is run by the Deep State.”
“They gave Obama one for doing nothing, and now Newsom gets one for burning down his state,” Trump fumed on Truth Social. “Nobody has done more for peace than me. I made peace with Kim Jong-un. I made peace with hamburgers. Tremendous peace.”
Asked about Trump’s reaction, Newsom reportedly smiled and said, “I’ll take that as an endorsement.”
Supporters of the award cite Newsom’s efforts to push climate policy and social tolerance amid political chaos, noting he’s “the only governor whose state burned down and still managed to post a selfie.”
Meanwhile, right-wing commentators accused the Nobel Committee of being “too woke,” suggesting future prizes will go to Greta Thunberg’s houseplants or Elon Musk’s bank account.
In unrelated news, Trump’s campaign has announced a new initiative: the “Noble Peace Prize,” spelled exactly that way, to be awarded to himself annually “for services rendered to humanity, ratings, and truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Coke.”
At press time, the president was reportedly designing his own medal using golf tees and Diet Coke tabs.
