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Trump Pardons Maxwell, Removes Name from Epstein File, All Thanks to “Stop Attacking Pedophiles” Policy
When Ted Cruz said “let’s stop attacking pedophiles,” he apparently meant especially the ones with presidential pardons in the pipeline.
Millions Still Waiting for the Rapture, Ignoring Every Other Thing That’s Already Come for Them
Millions still cling to the Rapture prophecy, waiting for salvation that’ll never come, despite already being left behind by education,…
Post Malone Releases Country Album and Fans Unsure
The rapper-turned-singer-turned-cowboy unveils “Boot.exe,” an album equal parts twang, trauma, and unexpected emotional clarity.
MAGA Crowd Cheers Both Forgiveness and Hate, Hypocrisy as Love Language
One rally. Two lines. MAGA cheered for Christian forgiveness and then for unfiltered hatred. Turns out hypocrisy sounds best with…
Immigrants Still Taking American Jobs, Mostly the Ones No One Else Wants
Americans say immigrants are stealing jobs, just not the ones that involve heat, lifting, or responsibility.
Millions Celebrate Crackdown on “Antifa,” Still Unsure Whether It’s a Band, a Virus, or a Salad Ingredient
Trump’s move to label Antifa a terrorist group has supporters celebrating the end of something they still can’t define, identify,…
Detox Teas That Melt Fat Fast: Science Says They Drain Your Wallet, Not Your Waistline
Detox teas promise miracles, celebrity endorsements swear by them, and science says they just flush out money faster than toxins.
Trump Deploys Guards to D.C. and Chicago While Red States Get Free Disney Tickets
When the cities he targets aren’t even in the worst states for violence, it’s hard to spin this as a…
Latest Dear Dr. Doctrine
My roommate schedules ‘silent disco crying sessions’
My roommate, Jess, has started hosting something she calls ‘Silent Disco Crying Sessions’ in our living room.