Millions Still Waiting for the Rapture, Ignoring Every Other Thing That’s Already Come for Them

AMARILLO, TX — Across small towns and crowded Facebook groups, millions of Americans continue preparing for the Rapture, convinced that any day now they’ll be beamed skyward like celestial frequent flyers.

Their signs are ready. Their bank accounts are not.

Experts say this kind of belief takes more than faith, it takes commitment to avoiding education, evidence, and anyone with a working Wi-Fi connection. “They treat the Book of Revelation like a flight itinerary,” said one sociologist. “They’ve been packed since 1987.”

These same believers spend years decoding blurry TikTok prophecies, counting blood moons, and sharing AI-edited videos of angels over Ohio. Each new global crisis is “definitely it this time.” Each uneventful sunrise is “a test of faith.”

For many, the Rapture isn’t a spiritual event anymore. It’s a coping mechanism for lives that never quite went viral. They’ve turned it into a kind of apocalypse MLM, if you just believe hard enough, maybe you get the upgrade to eternity.

Skeptics argue the Rapture has already happened metaphorically, the faithful were taken, just not upward. “You can’t reason with them,” said one pastor. “They think microchips are in vaccines, but they can’t find the chip in their own debit cards.”

Conspiracy theorists have merged end-times theology with YouTube logic. Every eclipse is “a sign.” Every weather pattern, “a warning.” Every failed prediction, “a deeper mystery.”

But analysts have noticed a trend. The same folks insisting “the rapture is coming any day now” also seem convinced of two other miracles: that Donald Trump is an intellectual heavyweight, and that Charlie Kirk is totally not racist.

Meanwhile, scientists confirm that if the Rapture ever did occur, it would likely spare those who paid attention in science class, wore seatbelts, and knew how to tell a metaphor from a prophecy.

As one local put it, “If the Lord’s taking anyone, He’s probably starting with people who can read a weather map.”

Believers are still waiting, watching the sky, ignoring the bills, and quietly wondering why heaven keeps leaving them on read.

Rapture Predictions That Didn’t Age Well (And One That Just Did)

Date	Predictor / Context	What Was Claimed	What Happened
1844	William Miller	Christ would return between March 1843–1844	No rapture; led to the “Great Disappointment”
1988	Edgar C. Whisenant	“88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be in 1988”	Didn’t happen; he later revised the date
1994 / 2011	Harold Camping	May 21, 2011 (later revised to October 21)	Failed prediction; Camping later admitted error
2017	David Meade / others	Prediction tied to astrological signs & “blood moons”	Passed without event
September 23–24, 2025	Pastor Joshua Mhlakela (South Africa)	Claimed Jesus told him Rapture would fall during Feast of Trumpets	Nothing happened; believers disappointed