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Spot the Date: Woman’s Profile Photo Lineup Triggers Dating App Eye Strain
In an age of infinite scroll, some women have embraced the chaotic art of hiding in plain sight. Dating men…
Congress Holds Emergency Hearing on Pickleball Noise Crisis
Lawmakers across party lines unite to address the rising clatter of pickleball courts, framing the sport’s pop-pop-pop as a national…
My Dad Fixed the Sink, I Called a Plumber. What Does That Make Me?
He used a wrench and confidence. I used Yelp and panic. But hey, the drip’s gone — except the one…
Trump Taps Pillow Guy to Karaoke, Kid Rock to Headline at Rally
With artists declining the invite, Trump’s team has pivoted to a lineup that includes karaoke by Lindell and a full…
Comic-Con Loki Cosplayer Gets Trapped in Panel, Becomes Emotional Support Trickster
He showed up in costume for fun. Three hours later, fans were confessing trauma to him and asking for life…
Coldplay Declines Trump’s Ask to Perform at Rally
After demands to perform at a Trump rally as reparations for media distraction, the band responds with a polite decline…
Trump Demands Coldplay Perform at Rally to Repay “Stolen Attention”
After accusing the band of hijacking the spotlight, Trump now insists Coldplay make it right—on stage, under his terms, and…
Labor Statistics Dismissed for Failing to Trump’s Ego
The White House announced the termination after internal reports showed job numbers that “lacked proper enthusiasm for the President’s personal…
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