Spot the Date: Woman’s Profile Photo Lineup Triggers Dating App Eye Strain
In an age of infinite scroll, some women have embraced the chaotic art of hiding in plain sight. Dating men are now asking: am I falling for her… or her best friend?
Congress Holds Emergency Hearing on Pickleball Noise Crisis
Lawmakers across party lines unite to address the rising clatter of pickleball courts, framing the sport’s pop-pop-pop as a national quality-of-life emergency.
My Dad Fixed the Sink, I Called a Plumber. What Does That Make Me?
He used a wrench and confidence. I used Yelp and panic. But hey, the drip’s gone — except the one in the mirror.
Trump Taps Pillow Guy to Karaoke, Kid Rock to Headline at Rally
With artists declining the invite, Trump’s team has pivoted to a lineup that includes karaoke by Lindell and a full set from Kid Rock. Dress code: patriotism or sequins.
We Launched!
Read our Press Release!
Sign up for our newsletter — The Mocking Memo
Get the latest news in your inbox! Headlines, and cultural confusion, delivered twice a month.
politics
Relationships
Random Articles
I’m Not Ghosting You. I’m Dissociating With Style.
Yes, I saw your text. I even rehearsed a reply in three emotional dialects. Then I floated into the ceiling…
BREAKING: Woman Called Brave for Having Opinion
Apparently, expressing a thought now qualifies as heroism, as long as you smile afterward and include a disclaimer in parentheses.
Woman Opens New Credit Card to Prove She’s Emotionally Ready for Europe
She’s not impulsive. She’s preparing. Financial experts are unclear if €14 rosé in Lisbon counts as personal growth, but she’s…
My Dad Fixed the Sink, I Called a Plumber. What Does That Make Me?
He used a wrench and confidence. I used Yelp and panic. But hey, the drip’s gone — except the one…
Financial Freedom Hits Men Like a Mortgage, Women Like a Flight Deal
When men get money, they settle down. When women get money, they level up. It’s not toxic, it’s trending.
I’m Finally Happy, and It’s Making Everyone Nervous
I got my life together, and now everyone assumes I’ve joined a cult or pyramid scheme. Honestly, they’re not wrong,…
Predictably wrong
Entertainment
business
Dear Dr. Doctrine
My Professor Live-Streamed Our Class Without Telling Us. Now I’m a Meme.
I go to a mid-sized state university and recently discovered that one of my professors has been live-streaming…
Corporate Stars That Shouldn’t Collide
Astronomer CEO Andy Byron says the universe “sent a sign” during Coldplay—unfortunately, it looked a lot like being…
My Burnout Coach Gave Me Homework
When self-care becomes another deliverable. Dr. Doctrine decodes the emotional invoice, and Ricky Machismo responds with grit, dumbbells,…
My Four-Year-Old Called Me Emotionally Unavailable
When toddlers start diagnosing attachment issues, is it growth or generational backlash? Dr. Doctrine offers a dose of…
My Husband Listens to Therapy Recordings at 2x Speed
When emotional growth meets audio compression. Dr. Doctrine weighs in on relationship multitasking, and Aria adds her elegantly…
unasked
health
lifestyle
faith
Mockitors (Editors)
Informant
The Informant leaks inside jokes and half-truths from TMP’s deepest shadows.
Ricky Machismo
Ricky critiques masculinity the way he lifts weights—loudly, shirtless, and with bad form.
Alani “Anime” Garres
Alani monitors high school absurdity like it’s a live-streamed social experiment.
Aria Wilde
Every sentence a silhouette. Aria walks the line between elegance and evisceration, documenting image as identity’s last defense.
Buck Brogan
Buck tells it like it was, which is to say, mostly incorrect but way too confident.
Keanu Gebe
Keanu speaks Gen Z, fluently and with just enough sarcasm to stay suspended.
Bryce Blunder
Bryce thinks out loud so you don’t have to—because you really, really shouldn’t.